Someday

Aside

Someday I will tell you..that your the strongest person I know. that grandpa was wrong about me, that you are the toughest kid there is.

Someday I will tell you that we couldn’t walk down the hallways of Mott without everyone saying hello to you. That even though you were tiny, you ever went unnoticed, and once there was a mother who told me you were the reason she knew that her daughter could handle her illness because hooked up to 8 different pumps you looked at the lady and said, “eh, it’s not so bad”

Someday I will tell you that those Athletes all loved you, and were far more impressed by you than you were by them. One of your favorite football players once told me, There is something really special about your daughter, she inspires me.

Someday I will tell you that when you got discouraged you would look at me and say, Mom this is not the life I want, why did god choose this life for me? But if you noticed that I was discouraged you would tell me how lucky you were to have me as a mom.

Someday I will tell you that you were in a commercial for Mott, and you got paid $600.00 and when I asked you what you wanted to do with the money you said you wanted to buy an American Girl Doll for yourself and a new car for me, and with whatever was left over you were pretty sure you could get Will a XBox game.

Someday I will tell you how scared I was. That everything about me changed when you got sick. That I couldn’t concentrate anymore on anything because I was always too worried about you and if you were going to be okay.

Someday I will that you that your spirit is something that everyone talks about, because through all of this you only allow yourself to get down at moments that most of the time you are strong and happy.

Someday I will tell you how much you missed your brother, that if someone asked about him you would take a big gulp and answer but often your eyes would fill with tears because you missed him so much.

Someday I will tell you that I am so impressed with the relationship you have with your brother, that the two of you are so sweet and kind to one another, and that you don’t fight like most brothers and sisters do, that you are thankful for each other at every moment.

Someday I will tell you how strong your brother thinks you are, that he is amazed at what you deal with when he is unable to even watch when you are having things done without feeling like he’s going to cry for you.

Someday I will tell you how sad you were when you realized you lost a friend from Mott, that you asked questions about god and how he was able to decide who stayed here and who went with him.

Someday I will tell you that sometimes I lay next to you in bed at night and cry when I look at your tubes and pumps and colostomy bags, because I am so sad that you have to deal with all of this and I feel that your life should be easier.

Someday I will tell you that people all over the world are inspired by your faith and your faith is the only reason we’ve made it this far.

Someday I will tell you that I really didn’t have a plan like I told you & Will that I had, that I really have no idea how we will make all of this work but I knew it would be okay because we are together.

Someday I will tell you how worried I was about you meeting your Prince Charming, until I met a man who loved a girl with greater medical issues than yours. And he assured me there would be a prince for you my princess.

Someday I will tell you that I pretend like all of this is really no big deal, because I want you to face it with that same sort of attitude.

Someday I will tell you about the people of LOTWA & Shalom who hardly knew us, but quickly became like family. Who made me believe that alone wasn’t the best way to battle this illness.

Someday I will tell you that most people
can’t handle this for the long haul. That very few people have what it takes to make it through this with us. But it’s okay they all still loved you.

Someday I will tell you you’ve got the greatest grandparents you could’ve ever asked for. And that it’s hard on them too, but they would do anything to make this all better.

Someday I will tell you that every night I thank god for another day with you & your brother. Because being a part of the Mott family makes you realize every day is a gift.

Someday I will tell you thank you. Thank you for being you and for letting me fall so in love with you. Thank you for giving me every reason to be thankful for every blessing gods given me. Because of you, I look for the blessings in everything.

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5 thoughts on “Someday

  1. Donna Herring

    Maryann
    Have you ever thought of writing a book? The way you write is great, I know you are writing real life but you have such a way with words. It reminds of me a great writer that I loved that wrote for the AA news Jo Mathis. I have been wondering how Faith is and you also.
    I am the one that sent her the winter dolphin from Florida when we went there on vacation. Please know that you are an inspiration as well as Faith .. Prayers for all of you

  2. Kelly

    A friend of mine shared Faith’s story on Facebook today. We just joined the gym last week, so I was intrigued. Then, I remembered meeting two parents in the operating room lobby while my son was undergoing his 4th surgery ( June 5). I believe those parents were you? You both looked so calm, and I remember thinking that I wish I had that strength. We just recovered from surgery number five in December, which actually left us with some devastating news about his condition ( more surgeries, more uncertainties, cancer possibilities) . This journey is so difficult. Do you belong to my support groups? Thank you for sharing your story on this blog.

  3. Jennifer Rath

    To Faith and her Mommy ….
    My name is Jennifer and I’m a lot older then you but we have very similar stories.. I got my colostomy done on Dec 12 2012 and it has been the hardest thing ever .. But reading your mommy’s Blog today made me realize a lot of things and I thank you both for that .. I hope the best for you and your family ..

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