Tonight my head hurts. So does my stomach. I would love to say it was just nerves from papa cutting it a little too close for comfort, but that isnt the case at all. Tonight Faith fell. Fell over her own feet while chasing me to the kitchen because she wanted some corn. She slid across the floor, which you would think was a good thing, but not for Faith. Her Mic-key button came out, along with her stomach contents and blood, it amazes me when these things get pulled out how much blood there is. I quickly got it back in, and cleaned up the mess. I knew we had other problems because there was blood showing thru her ostomy bag. It took me an hour to get her calmed down, and for a child like Faith, who has been thru so much I knew she was in a lot of pain. I took off her colostomy bag and there was lots of blood. It was gross. It took a while to get it under control…She was just worried that I was missing the Tigers game. I bit my lip to avoid crying, because that’s just how amazing she is…Laying on our treatment table, worried not about her black and blue belly or the horrible infection around her once again prolasping stoma, or that her feeding tube got forcibly pulled out of her belly, but that I was missing a game, that she knows I really was excited to see all day long.
Suddenly, the game didn’t seem so important. These games have always been important to me, it helps me forget about everything else that’s going on around me, and its so fun when they are doing so well…and well….they really are doing so well. But right now, its hard to think of anything, but whats going on with Faith as important.
She needs to go to another hospital, however we have to fight to get the insurance companies to let us leave the state…Even though our doctors have admitted to the insurance companies that they are unable to take care of Faith and they don’t have the equipment needed to help to figure out the plan that will best work for her…Then we have to get her to the other state and stay there, as long as it takes to get her the help she needs…I dont sleep much at all anymore. I think, and think about what I could be doing differently to help her. She doesn’t feel good half the time, and when the infection gets like it is right now she gets fevers a lot, and she’s so tired all the time, and she’s in pain…which sucks to see your kid in pain.
I miss the days of laying awake at night because I was worried that Michigan could lose the game…or being sick to my stomach for 9 innings of a Tigers game. I know there has to be a solution to all of this. I wish it was as simple as a Brady Hoke W or a Verlander KKK…the stakes are so high here…truly, this is the game of my life.