I think I can…

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Everyday, I tell someone who I’m working on a blog. Yeah..seems funny, not at all my style…but necessary to update people of Faith status. Well, everyday has turned into months…Some shrink out there would say something like I’m avoiding talking about it because it’s too painful..very true. I’ve realized whats worse is that I am no longer connected with my people because of this…its been two god awful years and Miss. Optomistism has changed. My glass…is empty and I think that the people who loved me before all of this have a very hard time understanding who I’ve become.  I am hoping that through this blog I can speak about my little Faith, so every time I see someone I don’t have to run the other way because I don’t want to explain to one more person how scared I am, so you will know where we are. So when I see you I can tell you a story about my mom who called 911 because she thought she saw the Dexter Bear, and not that were headed back to Mott in the morning.

I’m not a writer, I’m a talker…so this will be no literary prize…but a conversation about our life and where we are headed. But mostly, about my faith and her journey from ostomy bags and feeding tubes to tulips and fireflies.

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14 thoughts on “I think I can…

  1. jennifer littrell

    I am amazed by how strong a person you are. I realize how scary this has got to be for u and your family. I dont know whats wrong with faith but hopefully this gives u an outlet to what u r having to deal with. God bless and u guys will be in my prayers.

  2. Lindy O'Clair

    I hope you never feel that you have to explain yourself. Life sends us challenges, unexpexted turns, and painful lessons. You have to redirect and change focus when this happens. So if you find yourself in the midst of people who do not understand who you have become and what path led you there, then you need not waste your time. Focus on the beautiful child with the face of love!
    ~XOXOXO Lindy
    Tell Ms. Faith we will see her this weekend.

  3. sherry

    You are a very strong lady , a lot of people would not be able to stay as strong as you have for your family. I pray for you and your Faith . I pray she will get better and he will give you the power to stay strong.. I know I dont know you other that talking a fue times over tweets but can tell you are a very good mother and would trade spots with Faith in a second. All you can do is be there when she needs you and try to stay positive and give her power to stay strong. May God bless you and your family and make your baby better.

  4. Barb Bell

    Mary Ann – you should tell your friends that the “Dexter Bear” I saw was a piece of plywood someone had cut in the shape of a bear and painted it black. It just didn’t move 🙂 :). Nice blog. Good way to keep people updated. Love you.

    BTW today there is a baby bear there too. I didn’t fall for it.

  5. Connie

    Maryann, You seem like a very strong woman. I am sorry that you & Faith have been dealt this. I still pray for Faith & you & will continue to do so. Your 1st post is very good & I thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter life with us.

  6. Well girl, I really don’t know you but can tell you are such a caring mother to both the kids. I don’t know how you do it. honest! I feel like I am being nosey about faith. I really do care so much and I wish there was something that I or anybody could do for faith and for you. it’s hard when u don’t want to keep goin but life keeps goin so off we go…to hospitals, drs, all that. like I said, Im just sad over this. I pray you have a miracle in Faith.

  7. mary ann. i have not had to go through what you are going through, but did have a friend who spent 2 long years up at mott. i saw how hard it was on her and her family. i don’t know what to say. i am willing to help in anyway i can. and i mean that, i am here to talk, can drive down there to mott if you need something, or just listen. one of the hardest things for my friend to do was to let people help her. she is a very strong person, has great faith in God, but through her tragedy, he showed her the love of others and how to accept that love and the blessings he had for her.. sherry aka @justfadetoblack. p.s poop and colostomys are part of my daily life 🙂 they don’t bother me. i am an occupational therapist 🙂

  8. Hi, I just wanted to write and let you know that all three of you are in my thoughts and prayers. As a mom of a chronically ill child I will tell you that these kids test our limits emotionally, physically and spiritually, but you will become stronger on the other side. The things I used to fuss over are no big deal. Life is enjoying the little moments and letting our kids be kids, not sick kids. I know it is tough and this is a great way to get your thoughts down. I’ll keep reading and praying. ~Kim

  9. Josey Martin

    Mary Ann, thank you for sharing this with every one. Your strength and faith will bring you thru. You, Will and Faith are amazingly keeping it together. God bless and keep you all. Love, AJ

  10. Nick Marsh

    Mary Ann, you are wrong. You ARE a writer and a good one too. Recording and sharing your thoughts with clarity, when the emotions are raw and events clear in your mind, while cathartic for you, also serves a greater good of giving to others. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

  11. Deborah McClennen

    Hello, MaryAnn. I am Deborah McClennens youngest daughter Aubree. my mom was very inspired by your story and of course had me read it, and i think i cried more than she ever thought about doing. Immediately,I fell in love with the little girl named faith and would do anything to give her the moon and the stars too. I work at a daycare, with some of my kids being in foster care i hear god awful things all the time. my way of summing it up: life sucks. period. But god does not put people thru things they cannot handle. You are pushed and broken until you absoloutly think you can handle no more, but you always manage to squeeze out a little more “faith”. I hope you remain as strong as you are now, look at your little girls face and you will surely make it to tomorrow. one day at a time.
    Love Always, Aubree.

  12. I’m a friend of Chloe Jackson’s and she directed me here via Twitter. Just knowing her has made me a more positive person even though I’m not perfect and have my moments of darkness too, but I hope she has helped impact you and your daughter’s life in some way like mine.

  13. Joe

    I have so much respect for you. You talk about how strong Faith and Will have been, but there is a lot of strength in you as well. I am a divorced parent of three kids and we deal with so much with their mother, plus an illness my son has now overcome. There have been days where I did not know how I could make it through, but now I look back at that time and realize how silly I was. You talked about athletes not being heroes and how Matthew Stafford was your sons hero that night, but after reading all of you blog entries I know that you are my hero. I plan and coming back and reading your blog every time you update it. You and your children are in my heart now and I will always keep you in my thoughts.

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